Chasing things you don’t have

I used to be a very calm person.

I grew up to be resilient. When shit gets thrown at you, you deal with it realizing that things could be a whole lot worse. You remain calm in the face of fires and keep on trucking.

But I realized it was just a coping mechanism. I learned to protect my myself and sanity by numbing all of my emotions. I learned to not care too much about anything. It was safe.

What’s different now? I care a lot about my business. This is the first thing I’ve worked so hard on, by choice, in my life. I’ve lost my cool and have a lot of new anxiety now because I care so much about it. The people close to me have noticed as well. They say that it’s for the worse, and I agree.

I noticed that I have a pattern…